Bugs Bunny: A Little Choc. Dust !

The sun hung high over a verdant forest, dappling light through the leaves onto a familiar, burly rabbit hole. Out popped Bugs Bunny in a red bow , munching contentedly on a carrot, when a frantic, high-pitched squawk shattered the peace.

Daffy: It's mine! All mine! Mwah-ha-ha!"

Bugs peered over the rim of his hole to see Daffy Duck, feathers ruffled and eyes wide with avarice, clutching a tattered, ancient-looking scroll.

He was hopping around a small, moss-covered rock like a deranged pogo stick.

BugsBunny: What's up, Doc? Find a new way to annoy the neighbors? Bugs asked, taking another bite.

Daffy skidded to a halt, tucking the scroll behind his back with practiced clumsiness.

Daffy Duck: Oh! Uh, Bugs! Just, uh, admiring this... very important... leaf!

BugsBunny: Yes, a rare leaf!" He gestured wildly at a nearby oak.

Bugs arched an eyebrow.

BugsBunny: Looks more like a map, Daff, complete with a big red 'X' and a drawing of something that looks suspiciously like a giant, glowing carrot."

Daffy gasped, fumbling the map. It unfurled, revealing intricate markings, cryptic symbols, and indeed, an "X" over a mountain range labeled "The Peaks of Perpetual Peril," and a final drawing of a colossal, sparkling carrot next to a pile of gleaming gold coins.

Daffy: "It's the legendary 'Carrot of King Carbuncular' and the 'Lost Lode of Luminescent Lollygags'!" Daffy shrieked, practically vibrating.

Daffy: And it's all mine! I found it! I, Daffy Duck, will be rich beyond my wildest dreams!

Bugs leaned back, unimpressed. "Lumines... what now? Sounds like a whole lotta trouble for a glow-in-the-dark carrot, Doc. And those shiny things usually turn out to be chocolate coins."

BugsBunny: You... you fool! You philistine! This is history!

Daffy: This is destiny! And it's MINE!" Daffy lunged for the map, but Bugs, with his usual nonchalance, snagged it first.

BugsBunny: Hmm, says here you need a guide with 'cunning wit, unparalleled digging skills, and a charming disposition.

BugsBunny: Sounds like they're talking' about me, ain't they?" Bugs winked, handing the map back to a sputtering Daffy.

Daffy snatched it, momentarily speechless, then puffed out his chest.

Daffy: Nonsense! I, Daffy Duck, am the epitome of cunning wit! As for digging... I can quack really loud, that'll scare the dirt away!

Daffy: No, I'm going alone!"

He spun on his heel and marched off, only to immediately walk into a tree. BONK! Daffy bounced off, landing in a crumpled heap.

Bugs sighed.

BugsBunny: Alright, Daff, I'll go. But only 'cause I got nothing better to do, and your attempts at solo adventuring are usually better than the Sunday funnies."

And so began their grand adventure.

The journey to the Peaks of Perpetual Peril was, well, perilous. Daffy, armed with a compass he held upside down and a fervent belief in his own "instincts," led them through a bog where the mud was inexplicably lime green and tasted like anchovies.

Daffy: We're almost there! I can feel it!" Daffy squawked, sinking waist-deep.

Daffy: Just a few more inches to true glory!"

Bugs, meanwhile, had hopped onto a lily pad and was calmly paddling with a cattail.

BugsBunny: You sure about that, Daff? Map says 'Beware the Swamp of Sticky Snafus.'"

Daffy ignored him, flailing.

Daffy: My instincts are never wrong! Oh, for the love of all that's holy, I'm stuck! Help me, you long-eared lout!

Bugs casually extended a carrot!

Daffy bit it, and Bugs pulled him out like a cork from a bottle.

Next came a desert that appeared out of nowhere, complete with sentient tumbleweeds that offered unsolicited advice.

BugsBunny: Turn left at the singing cactus, fella!" whistled a tumbleweed, rolling past Daffy.

Daffy scoffed.

Daffy: Pish posh! What would you know? I'm going right! Right is always right!

He marched off, only to find himself at the base of a towering, perfectly flat rock face.

Bugs, already halfway up a winding, invisible path on the other side, called down…

BugsBunny: Looks like you hit a wall, Doc!"

Daffy: Oh, you're despicable!" Daffy shrieked, trying to peck a foothold into the solid rock.

Finally, after navigating a labyrinth of cartoonish pitfalls

(Daffy fell into every single one, often resurfacing covered in pies or with springs attached to his feet)

They reached the entrance to the "Crypt of the Crumbling Carrot," a grand, crumbling temple carved into the side of a mountain.

Inside, intricate traps awaited. A pressure plate triggered giant swinging axes, which Daffy narrowly dodged by tripping over his own feet, accidentally activating a secret passage.

A riddle-speaking gargoyle blocked their path!

Gargoyle: I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?" boomed the gargoyle.

Daffy; scratched his head.

DaffyA very poorly designed planet? A modern art exhibit? My financial portfolio after a bad investment?"

Bugs stepped forward.

BugsBunny: A map, Doc.

The gargoyle groaned, and the path opened.

"Spoilsport."

Finally, in a grand chamber bathed in an ethereal, pulsing light, stood two pedestals. On one, a shimmering pile of gold coins glowed with an irresistible allure. On the other, nestled on a silken cushion, was a single, gigantic, perfectly normal-looking carrot.

Daffy shrieked, his eyes fixated on the gold.

Daffy: The Lode! It's real! My riches! My fame! I'll buy an island! I'll build a solid gold mansion shaped like me! I'll finally get that lifetime supply of premium birdseed!"

He launched himself at the pile, scooping up handfuls of the shining metal.

Bugs ambled over to the carrot, picked it up, and gave it an experimental bite.

BugsBunny: Hmm, tastes pretty good, actually, Nothing too fancy, Just a good, honest carrot.

Daffy, meanwhile, was struggling.

The gold, which had looked so light, was impossibly heavy. He grunted, strained, and finally lifted a single, large coin.

It slipped from his grasp and clanged to the floor, where it immediately crumbled into a pile of very convincing, but ultimately worthless, chocolate dust.

Daffy stared, aghast.

Daffy: My... my gold?

Daffy: It's... it's just fancy candy! A trick! A cruel, cruel joke!

He collapsed onto the pile of dust, sobbing dramatically.

Daffy: I've been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Oh, the injustice! The humanity!

Bugs continued munching his carrot.

BugsBunny: Told ya, Doc. Chocolate coins. Always are.

Daffy looked up, his face streaked with chocolate and tears.

Daffy: But... but the Carrot of King Carbuncular! That glowing, magical root of power! Where is it?

Bugs held up the half-eaten carrot.

BugsBunny: This one? Nah, it's just a regular carrot. A really, really big, fresh one, but just a carrot.

BugsBunny: Guess the 'glowing' part was just the light in the chamber.

Daffy stared at the colossal, perfectly ordinary carrot, then at the chocolate dust, then back at Bugs, who was now polishing off the last bite.

Daffy: You mean... you mean all this? All the perils, the traps, the humiliation... for a carrot?! Daffy's voice rose to a crescendo.

Daffy: And I got nothing?! Nothing but chocolate dust and the lingering taste of anchovy mud?!"

Bugs tossed the carrot top aside.

BugsBunny: Yep! Was pretty good, though.

BugsBunny: Now, if you'll excuse me, Doc, I think I'll head back for a nap!

BugsBunny: All this adventuring makes a rabbit hungry.

(Bugs started to dig a hole, humming a jaunty tune)

Daffy watched him, his feathers bristling, his eyes twitching!

Daffy: You... you... you insufferable, smug, carrot-munching fiend!

Daffy: This is the most despicable day of my life! I oughta..."

But Bugs was already gone, leaving Daffy Duck alone in the crumbling temple, surrounded by chocolate dust and the echoes of his own futile quest for glory.

BugBunny: You're DESPICABLE! Daffy screamed into the empty chamber, his voice echoing forlornly. Then, with a defeated sigh, he picked up a piece of chocolate dust and glumly popped it into his beak.

Daffy: Eh, still tastes pretty good.

Daffy popped another piece of chocolate dust into his beak. The faint tremor continued, rattling the few remaining cocoa pillars.

Daffy: This whole place is going to crumble faster than my career in show business, he grumbled, eyeing the growing cracks.

He glanced at the tiny hole Bugs had vanished through.

Daffy: Probably leads to some secret vault filled with golden carrots. Or more chocolate, probably for him.

A glint of avarice, quickly followed by a spark of pure, unadulterated vengeance, ignited in his beady eyes.

Daffy: Oh no you don't, you wily rabbit! If there's gold, it's my gold! If there's chocolate, it's my chocolate! And if there's an exit, it's my exit!"

With a determination born of desperation and greed, Daffy waddled over to Bugs's perfectly circular hole, which seemed impossibly small for a rabbit, let alone a duck. He squashed himself, beak first, into the dark opening, pushing and wriggling with all his might. Chocolate dust flew, and a faint groan of protest came from the tunnel walls.

He squeezed, he pushed, he flapped his feet frantically. For a few agonizing seconds, it seemed he was hopelessly stuck, a feathered cork in a cocoa-dusted bottle.

Then, with a sudden POP!, he shot forward, tumbling through a short, surprisingly smooth passage.

He landed with a wet splat, not on gold, nor chocolate, but on something distinctly green and squishy.

Groaning, he pushed himself up, shaking his head to clear the stars…

He found himself not in a grand treasure chamber, but in a familiar, slightly damp, grassy field.

The sky was a startling blue, birds chirped innocently, and a cheerful sun beamed down. Directly in front of him, leaning casually against a large, very ordinary looking oak tree, was Bugs Bunny.

Bugs, utterly unruffled, was munching contentedly on a carrot, a half-eaten one already discarded at his feet. He barely glanced up, a faint, knowing smirk playing on his snout.

BugsBunny: "Eh, what's up, Duck?"

Daffy’s eyes widened, then narrowed, His beak dropped open, then snapped shut!

A vein throbbed visibly on his temple. The magnificent, crumbling chocolate temple of destiny, his ultimate quest, his glorious triumph, had been nothing more than a giant setup!

Bugs had just dug a shortcut out, leaving him to gloat in an empty, collapsing edifice!

Daffy: You... you... you CAD!" Daffy shrieked, his voice rising to a crescendo that sent a flock of nearby sparrows scattering.

Daffy: You led me on a wild-goose chase through a temple of confectionery doom just to... to... to get out of it faster?!

He stomped his foot, sending a shower of grass clippings into the air.

Daffy: I could have been famous!

Daffy: I could have been rich! I could have been anything but soaking wet and covered in chocolate crumbs!

Daffy: This is OUTRAGEOUS! This is an affront to the very essence of legitimate stagecraft! This is—

Bugs took another bite of his carrot, chewed slowly, and then, with a perfectly timed crunch, tossed the stub over his shoulder.

BugsBunny: Aw, what's all the fuss, Doc?" he drawled, his eyes twinkling.

BugsBunny: You got a free trip to greener pastures, didn't ya? And you even got a tasty snack on the way out."

Daffy spluttered, momentarily speechless. He looked down at himself. Indeed, he was still liberally dusted with cocoa, which, now mixed with the damp grass, had formed a rather unsightly, muddy brown paste. He scraped a bit off his wing and, almost without thinking, licked it.

"...Hmm. Dark chocolate with an earthy undertone. Still pretty good," he mumbled. Then, his eyes snapped back to Bugs, who was now polishing his ears with a leisurely swipe of his paw.

Duffy: "BUT THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE YOUR DESPICABLE BEHAVIOR! YOU ARE THE MOST INSIDIOUS, IRRITATING, AND UTTERLY UNMITIGATED—"

The sparrows, having cautiously returned, decided to leave again. (This all was Daffy way of saying “Thanks Friend” )

While thinking of all the choc. KitCat Pudding he would have, once back home!

Vol.2 Unlocks : TBA!